This has been a summer of unexpected events. When I planned my training schedule for Fall races, I anticipated minor diversions but mostly thought each day would gently blend into the next, much like last year. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
In early July, I hurt my lower back. I’m still not 100% sure what caused it, but it was definitely a combination of overzealous training one weekend, not warming up and cooling down properly around an intense 8km trail run, and not doing yoga regularly like I had last year. For a month I tried to alternate between resting my back, stretching it, doing more core strengthening, and doing more stretching and strengthening of surrounding muscles. Last week I finally went for my first physio appointment where they recommended I take a break from running while working on healing my injury. Lower back pain – major setback #1.
Just one week before the lower back incident, I had applied for a new job. Throughout the month of July into mid-August, I can count on one hand (one finger?) the number of nights I got a good sleep. Mostly, I spent all those weeks in a whirlwind of stressing out and preparing for interviews, navigating emotional storms about leaving my current job, then madly training everyone at my old work and gearing up for the new job (which I started last week). It has been exhausting and, having cut out caffeine a few months ago, it all feels like a strange dream that I travelled through in a semi-conscious state of barely functioning. Changing jobs – major setback #2.
So, I have finally made the difficult decision that I’m not going to run either of the Fall races I signed up for because there is absolutely no way my body is going to be ready for them at this point. Maybe I’ll still go to the events as a volunteer to cheer on the other runners, and I’ll definitely plan to run these races next year because they look like super fun events I’d still like to participate in someday, but it’s just not feasible for me to push through them after so many weeks of lost training.
Last year, when I faced the possibility of not being able to run my first half marathon due to injury, it felt absolutely unacceptable. This year it’s not ideal, but it’s ok. This year just isn’t going to be the year that I make big gains in running. Instead, this is the year of making big gains in life and learning to take better care of myself. It’s not the win I had planned, but it’s a hell of a win just the same.