The Big Five

I think at some point in their lives most people have had some kind of encounter with a therapist / counsellor / psychologist / psychiatrist. There are a lot of stories of bad encounters out there, which makes me all the more grateful that I was lucky enough to finally find someone who was able to work with me in exactly the way I needed.

From our first meeting, we seemed to have a shorthand between us, we just clicked, and over our six sessions together she guided me with warmth and purposefulness to many life-changing aha moments, many key learnings. Here are the big five, which I will carry with me for the rest of my life:

1. I can and should trust myself. I already know what I want, what I need, and how I’m feeling. I don’t need to second-guess myself. I can trust it to be true.

2. The only relationships worth having and investing in are those in which I feel safe, authentic, and comfortable.

3. Compromising and compromising myself are two very different things.

4. It’s ok to have a pity party once in a while. I just have to pre-determine an end time, pre-arrange for someone to check in on me at that time, and make sure I enjoy every last minute of the wallowing. I will be ok.

5. That inner voice of my critical parent telling me to try harder and that I’m not good enough, that voice is NOT on my side and does NOT have my best interests at heart. It’s a bully and I should never believe what it says to be true. I also have my own inner voice of a loving, nurturing parent. That one can always be trusted, and it can stand up to the bully and win every time.


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